Have we forgotten how to listen?

I just received my e-copy of the InnovationNetwork newsletter. In it is an excerpt from the book "How To Talk To Customers" by Diane Berenbaum and Tom Larkin, Senior Vice Presidents of Communico Ltd., a customer service training and consulting company. http://www.howtotalktocustomers.com

The subject is 'listening' and as always, the lessons can apply in our personal as well as professional lives. Listening-- seems we take for granted that we all know how to do that. We have ears, we hear people talk-- or we can understand what they are saying via other means. But do we really? Have we lost the ability in our fast paced, overloaded, ultra productive lives to really stand in their shoes and hear them from where they are?

The piece of managing knowledge we seem to forget to address is the receptor's ability to hear and listen as well as our ability to build a common language and understanding. We are continually looking at how to get people to share knowledge, how to judge what needs to be shared, how to store and catalog and utilize but we rarely focus on what is needed to listen. We must hear people from where they stand to get the context of what they are trying to share. We must take a breath and put ourselves in their shoes before we judge their words. From what vantage point and background of experience are they sharing? We simply forget to consider that.

I am continually reminded in all of this that the best place for me is to stand in curiosity. As my colleague Paula Love states, this is the place to hear from a new perspective.

I recommend reviewing the Innovation Network newsletter and the book referenced above. Brought to you by the InnovationNetwork
http://thinksmart.com

Let me give you a brief rundown-- The rest of this blog entry contains an excerpt. I may not agree with the descriptions of the levels, but I do agree with the basic points the authors raise. Well worth the read. Enjoy.

There are really four levels of listening:

1. Level One -- Here, the dialogue itself is largely transactional
- focused on the task..
2. Level Two -- Rapport building characterizes this level of
listening. You ask more questions to gain a greater sense of the
other person's meaning.
3. Level Three -- The dialogue is characterized by a sense of
warmth and perception. The focus at this level is on empathy.
4. Level Four -- This is the deepest level. Your attention is often
intuitive and you remain largely silent.

Much of our communication--particularly in a business setting--
occurs at levels one and two. It's largely an empirical process,
dominated by an exchange of facts and figures. That's not to say
it's "bad" -- just, perhaps, not as effective as the level of
listening that we would like to establish.

By contrast, Level Four focuses on letting the other person talk and
typically only occurs in close relationships where there is trust
and mutual respect.

Level Three listening is attentive, nonjudgmental, and genuinely
recognizes the other person's feelings and perspective ... it's in a
word, empathic. This is the level you want to achieve in your
interactions with customers.

HOW TO LISTEN AT LEVEL THREE

However desirable, listening at Level Three is often difficult. We
may be preoccupied with other concerns, distracted by what's
happening around us or simply eager to address the problem.

If you have a tendency to listen at Level One or Two (listening for
facts and details), then you will not "hear" what the customer is
really saying. You need to listen to his words and tone in a
different way ... in a way that goes beyond the facts. Level Three
is about listening for and acknowledging their feelings and the
significance of the issue. Then and only then are you really
connecting with the customer, and thereby, building or restoring the
relationship.

So, what do you do when you listen at Level Three? First, listen
for the big picture and be careful to not get bogged down in the
words and details that are coming at you. Provide a space for the
customer to share what's on his mind, without interruption.

To be truly empathic, choose a non-judgmental attitude. Watch your
tendencies to make assumptions, judge what you are hearing or
project how you would think or feel in that situation. Just
recognize how the person is feeling and accept what she shares.